I mean, Well Call Me A Chip And Dip Me In Queso Because I’m Nacho Bitch Shirt, can make a case for the best Rage Against the Machine songs, and know what settings we like on Goldeneye, it will probably work out. Nice one on making the patty the exact same size as the bun, and fine melting on the cheese as well. I’ve been obsessively making burgers during the lockdown and my cheese either ends up raw or melted into a thin goo. I’ve been using gouda though, so I should probably switch that up. They do some crazy things, add all sorts of ingredients, but it actually works and you can actually take bites out of it. My favorite one ever, and this sounds bizarre but trust me, was a Breakfast Burger. Beef patty and cheese, bacon and egg, and cheerios. They added this incredible crunchy texture to it and the sweetness combined with the saltiness to just make it the best burger I’ve ever eaten. And they do these huge plates of chili chips and huge platters of buffalo wings and stuff like that.
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The great thing about burgers is that’s true for pretty much all the components. Well Call Me A Chip And Dip Me In Queso Because I’m Nacho Bitch Shirt (with the obvious exception of the sin that is a pre-made patty bulked up with water, breadcrumbs onion, or who knows what else). Basic streaky bacon works better than pancetta. Cheap sliced tomatoes better than sundried. Cheap iceberg lettuce better than spinach or rocket or any other bullshit. Finish it off with a dollop of diner-style ketchup over a fancy tomato relish. Where I live (Australia) there’s been a “gourmet burger” trend for a good while now and yeah they just always disappoint. During the 80s and 90s (and probably before) we had “hot food shops” of no denomination in particularly where you could get a hamburger or a works burger. They were so frigging good, just made of all basic stuff.
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The works burger would get a little crazy with egg, bacon. Well Call Me A Chip And Dip Me In Queso Because I’m Nacho Bitch Shirt, shredded iceberg lettuce, tomato, and grilled onions. But it was still just humble and homely. I swear some of the best things I’ve ever put in my mouth. They’ve become almost impossible to find over the last 20 years. It’s all fancy cheese and weird lettuces. Thick-cut red onion, relish, and other fancy sauces. To me even the fancy bread I don’t love. I like bakery fresh bread, but just normal over brioche or sourdough or any of that. In theory, all the gourmet stuff should be good but for whatever reason, it misses the mark. Yeah same in the UK. We’ve got restaurant chains like Gourmet Burger Kitchen and they’re awful. They stack burgers so fucking high you can’t eat them like a burger. You can’t take a bite out of it, you have to eat it by deconstructing it. And eating all the parts separately with a knife and fork.
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