Another thing is knowing what their answer means. Easily Distracted By Dogs Shirt. They want the problem fixed, and sometimes you just need to listen and be a shoulder to cry on or a nice hug. In addition, I’ve noticed that sometimes people unintentionally try to make the person they’re comforting “simmer down”, so to speak. Don’t say that they need to just relax, or that the problem is small, or that it’s nothing to be worried about. Let them blow off the steam and clear their head. That phrasing is very helpful in many situations but has a place to be toned down. My more hyper-masculine friends would clam up if they thought they were being called bitchy, but others are more secure in that.
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And, obviously, with more serious situations. Had a friend who would rant to me about her bf every day. It was taking a huge toll on me because it was the same shit, Easily Distracted By Dogs Shirt. Once I pretty much just asked her that question and she stopped talking to me. My wife has a friend who was venting about his husband on the daily. He hyperbolizes his problems (we know them both and have had experience with abuse and watch for warning signs, this isn’t that) and makes hollow threats of doing something dramatic like moving back home or to Paris. When she engages with it drains her to the point of death. But she’s taken a stance of letting him complain waiting until he’s done and moving on.
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It seems to help. The combo of being his best friend and not feeding the drama makes him take a more steady approach to deal with their relationship it seems. Easily Distracted By Dogs Shirt. But the moment the grandiose threats come out. She shuts the door on being emotionally engaged. With the problem and moves on. (Not saying this is the best way to deal with it, but our own way to cope with a specific problem we’ve run into. It can be embarrassing when you get called out for doing something like that. So it doesn’t surprise me that she cannonballed her way out of it.
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